Sora's Random Oneshot Type Things!
by XSora-ChanX
Summary: Oh. My. Akito! this is as random as the flying monkeys attacking on a Monday because Ritsu was throwing poo at Isuzu because she's got black hair and then Hatori comes in dressed as Spiderman singing Loose By Nelly Fertardo![Now with T rating!]
1. Shigure and Kyo's Adventure!

**Author's note: Yeah. This is the begining of a series of one-shots. Rock on. I'm listening to "Last Resort" right now. Heck. Yes. And again, refrences to Naruto. Yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I don't even own this computer! It's my dad's!**

**Warnings: OOCness-icity, Stupidness-icity, Language.**

**---**

Shigure was boerd, so he went downstairs and turned on the television. He flipped through, stopped on a channel with an anime blonde girl only covered by smoke. The she changed back into a blonde boy after the sensei yelled at him and he kept flipping. Then he deciced he wanted to by an Ipod. So he skipped off-dragging Kyo with him because he was walking by-to find the merry land of Ipods, also known to the NORMAL people asCircut City. He entered the mall, and wandered until he reached a bookstore.

"Shigure?" Kyo said as people began stairing at them.

"Hmm?" Shigure said, looking at his cousin.

"THEY DON'T HAVE ANY DAMN IPODS HERE!" Kyo yelled.

"Hey, look!" Shigure said, running in to the first shef and pulling books off the shelf. "It Tohru and Yuki and you and me and...Lehgaspo."

"What!" Kyo panicked, looking around.

"It..." Shigure paused dramaticaly until Kyo hit him over the head with another one of the books on the shelf with the same blonde boy on the front as the one who changed into a naked girl. "It's...a Kisa cardboard cutout!" Kyo gasped.

"They are all damn rat lovers! They hate me! That's why they didn't put me up!" Kyo yelled.

"Umm...they didn't put up Yuki, either." Shigure pointed out, feeling proud of his brief spot of intelligence.

"Oh, right. Hey, look, it's our friend, Haru!" Kyo yelled. The two then skipped into a store a little ways away and entered a really dark store. Again, they saw the blonde boy, and he finally had a name...one the two guys thought was kinda nice...

Naruto.

So the two bought a shirt that said "Belive it!" and had Naruto on it and a Naruto plushie then continued on the way to find an Ipod. They stopped at a place with really good smells that made Shigure happy and one of his feet start to kick, which made him fall on his back and he looked like a dog having it's belly rubbed.

"Yummy yummy yummy!" Shigure said, still lying on the ground. "I want cookie cake, Kyo! Get me some!"

"No!" Kyo said. "Chocolate is bad for dogs! Now get up and let's continue hunting for the elusive Ipod!" Shigure got up and realized Kyo was right and stupid Tohru had got him chocolate for Valentine'sDay and had tried to kill him. Stupid Tohru.

"Kyyoooooo..." Shigure whined after about 5 days. Just kidding. It was only about 5 seconds. "I can't go on...too...weak..." Kyo dragged Shigure along.

"I'll buy you that weird CD you wanted with a chotic dance or that one with with the klutzy guys if you come on!" Kyo said. Silly Kyo. He dosn't even remember their names! Silly goose. Oops, I mean, silly kitty.

"Silly kitty. Those aren't the names." Shigure said. "I need a pretzel." So Kyo bought a pretzel and Shigure ate it.That silly goose,I mean, silly dog, wasn't dying after all. He was just hungry. So the two adventurers fell down the esclator and the landed in front to a big picture of a girl holding a camera.

"NOOO!" The silly dog said, "That picture ate the merry land of the Ipods!"

"No, the door is over there, silly dog." Kyo said in a very Tohru-like manor. So the two went in, got lost, found an Ipod, then went to go buy it. Then the silly dog and kittyadventurers realized that they left their money at home, so the ran out with the Ipod and didn't pay for it. Then they downloaded a song and put it on the Ipod. During that, Yuki came in but then he left because he isn't important to this chapter. After he left he jumped off the roof. No, not really. Tohru fell off it. Then the day ended and the adventure ended the same way it had started.

Except now, Shigure has an Ipod.

**---**

**Author's note: Yeah. I still can't belive Tohru tried to give our favorite dog chocolate. LEHGASPO! Evil, evil girl...**

**Just to clear some things up, the "chotic dance" is Panic! at the Disco and the "klutzy boys" is the band known asFall Out Boy. The bookstore is Barnes and Noble, where I actually saw a cardboard cutout of Kisa (it was either her or Ritsu...I can't remember) and the "really dark store" was Hot Topic. Yea, I know. Sora rocks for mentionoing these things.**


	2. Yuki and Haru and Kureno's adventure!

**Note: Yeah.Oneshot two. DANCE. NOW. ETH. Oh, and Shigure's adventure was 800 word. Exactly. That's cool.**

**Disclamer: I-eth own-eth nothing-eth!**

**---**

Yuki was hungry one day, so he decided that he would go to that burger place that opened recently.

"Haru?" Yuki asked his favorite cow.

"Yeah?" The favorite cow replied.

"Let's go tothat burger place!" Yuki said.

"OKAY! I'll accompany you on an adventure to go to the burger shop that sells my kind as food to sickning, hungry people who never thought of the cow they're eating!" Haru yelled.

"Erm...you don't have to go..." Yuki said.

"Oh, no I want to!" Haru said. So they grabbed Kureno and left the middle of the road where they were standing. On the way to the burger place, they ran into Tohru. No, seriously. They were running and sent Tohru flying.

"I belive I can flyyyyyy!" she sang. So then the Rat, the Cow and the Rooster arrived at the burger place and got in line.

"Hakuna Matata!" Kureno sang, shifting his weight from his heels to the front of his feet so he rocked back and forth.

"Shut up, Kureno, no one likes you." Haru said. Kureno started to cry.

"Haru's mean!" he said. Yuki rolled his eyes and kicked him out of the oneshot. Seriously. Kicked him so hard he landed in Arisa's room. She thought he was a rapist and beat him with a pole. But that's another story. Anyway, back to our Rat and Cow friends, Haru ordered. Then Yuki sat down at a table and Haru brought the food to the Rat.

"Why are people stairing?" Haru whispered.

"Because your mom." Yuki said, unwrapping his chicken sandwich. He hoped it was Kureno's mom because no one likes Kureno.And they were stairing because Haru's mom. She was doing some odd dance on a table.

"Oh." Haru unwrapped his, a...a...

CHEESEBURGER!

"CANNIBAL!" Yuki yelled, pointing a Haru. Haru laughed evily and stuffed the cheeseburger in his mouth. Then the two ran back to the middle of the street, running into Tohru again, so she flew in the oppasate direction. They hoped she wasn't getting cocky and wanting to be the Rooster. Haha, get it? Cocky, rooster? I'll shut up now. Anyways, Kureno was their Rooster. A stupid one whowas beat with a pole for being a rapist, but theirs anyway. So the day and the adventure ended the same way it began.

Except Yuki wasn't hungry.

**---**

**Author's note: Erm...yeah. I'm real creative with endings, huh? Yeah, well, do YOU get it? Cocky, R****ooster? A rooster is also called a cock in case you didn't know.Yeah. Well, that's all.**


	3. Kisa the Explorer! LEHGASPO!

**Note: Umm...yeah. I just heared "Welcome to Paradise" by Green Day. YAY OLD GREEN DAY! And beware for Naruto again...and Dora the Explorerness-icity. This chapter is based off this episode of Dora the Explorer my brother was watching when I was babysiting. Hay, he's 5. **

**AND BEWARE! THERE'S GERMAN IN THIS CHAPTER! **

**Disclamer: I own some stuff that's not Fruits Basket...**

**---**

So one day, Kisa and Ritsu were randomly walking together when they heared something.

"Hey!" they heared.

"Thet's our friend, Haru the cow!" Kisa said in a very Dora the Explorer way. Haru caught up with the Tiger and the Monkey and they saw he had been transformed into a...

POTATO!

"Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew, PO-TA-TO!"Ritsu sang. Haru the potato hopped up to them and looked at them.

"Help! I've been transformed into a potato!" Haru said. "We must un-transform me into a person!" Just then,they saw a blonde boy fall from the sky and heinched to Haru.

"Naruto no..." he threw Haru a long time ago, in a galexy far, far away...not really. Just into a tree. "...swiping."

"You're toooo late!" Naruto cakled before running away singing, "I'm a ninja, I'm a ninja, it's my birthday, it's my birthday..." So Kisa and Ritsu beat Haru out of the tree with a stick because he was a cannibal cow-potato type thing. Then they skipped on their jolly way before reaching a river.

"Oh no! Do you see anything we can use to get across the river?" Kisa the Explorer said. Then an arrow appeared and clicked on a boat in the distance. The Monkey, the Tiger, and th Cow-Potato type thing ran-or hopped-over to the boat. In it sat Momiji.

"Hi, Momiji!" Ritsu said.

"Momiji speaks German." Kisa the Explorer said. "Hallo Momiji. Können wir dein Boot borgen?"

"Ja Kisa der Forscher! Hallo, Ritsu, hallo Haru. Warum bist du eine Kartoffel?" Momiji asked.

"He said, 'Yes, Kisa the Explorer! Hello, Ritsu, hello Haru. Why are you a potato?'" Kisa the Explorer translated. "Er ist eine Kartoffel, weil… wir nicht wissen. Kannst du, wir ihn zurück in eine Kuh-Personart Sache ändern können?"

"Du mußt zum Haus in der Mitte gehen, oder der Wald und du müßt eine Kartoffel essen, die innen für 7.3957475683 minuten, no more gebacken wird, keine kleiner. Dann du Breihaustier die magische Katze-Person als Katze dann POOF! Du bist eine Person!" The crazy German Rabbit said.

Kisa the Explorertranslated it to "You have to go to the house in the middle or the forest and you have to eat a potato baked in for 7.3957475683 minutes, no more, no less. Then you mush pet the magic Cat-Person as a cat then POOF! You're a person!"

"Thank you! Danke!" Kisa the Explorer said. The crazy German Rabbit waived and they went to the house in the middle of the forest. There they saw the Dog, the Rat, the Riceball, and...

The magicCat-Person! LEHGASPO! Tohru made a potato baked for 7.3957475683 minutes then Haru ate it, nmaking him a cannibal. Then Yuki ran into Tohtu and made her go flying onto Kyo, who changed into a cat. Then the Cow-Potato type thing petted it awkwaerdly, because potatos don't have arms, then POOF! He wasa person.

"We did it, we did it, we did it YAY!" Kisa the Explorer and Ritsu sang. Then they walked home from their random adventure. Then the world blew up and everyone died.

The end.

**---**

**Author's note: I never noticed how the Dora the Explorer people might be on drugs until I wrote this...yeah. The world blew up. Haha, that's cool.**


	4. Super Retarded Dog!

**Note: I'm listening to Paralyzed by Rock Kills Kid. Yay!**

**Disclamer: My name isn't Natsuki Takaya-sensei. I'm Sora. And I also don't own Super Retarded Dog. But he's my hero.**

**---**

Yuki was thinking.

"I've been thinking." Yuki said to Kyo, Shigure, and Tohru. "Haru's been either mentioned or in the last 2 chapters. We should do something about it."

"Like...OH! I KNOW!" Shigure waived his hand in the air. "We should disguise ourselves and tie Haru up and kick him into Arisa's room so she will beat him with a pole like she did to Kureno!"

"That's...that's a great idea!" Kyo said. they ran upstairs and Tohru fell back down them, then she went up. They came back downstairs, but only Shigure had changed.

"We don't have costumes." Kyo pointed out. Shigue ran outside, though he wasn't Shigure the hentai novelest. He was...

Dramatic pause...

More drama...

More drama...

More drama...

Mo-OW! FINE!

SUPER RETARDED DOG!

He began to swat butterflys as Hatori walked up to him.

"What are you doing, Super Retarded Dog?" he said.

"Oh, I'm just catching bunny rabbits." Shigure said.

"Those are butterflys, moron." Hatori pointed out.

"No, I'm pretty sure these are bunny rabbits. I think someone needs to go back to school." Shigure said.

"Super Retarded Dog, can YOU, do me a FAVOR?" Hatori said in an odd voice.

"I don't see why not." Shigure replied.

"Can YOU dump this bucket of gasoline in the furnise?" Hatori said.

"I don't see why not." Shigure said, and he continued to swat butterflys.

"Well?"

"What?"

"Are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Take the bucket."

"Why would I need a bucket?"

"Take the bucket and dump it in the furnice." Hatori said, starting to get a little mad at Shigure's super retardedness.

"All right, all right." Shigure took the bucket and went along on his retarded way. He eventually hade his way to a house and walked in.

"Furnise...furnise..." He walked up to a refridgerator, and read the little brand thing on the side. "Fur...nise!" He put the bucket in it and went out, humming, passing a picture of a woman with short hair.

3 Hours Later(DunDunDun!)

Hatori went into his house, and shut the door. "Yes," he said, "I'm finally rid of that Super Retarded Dog! Man, I'm hungry." then he lit a cigerette and went to open the refridgerator and...

BOOM.

"AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" he yelled, landing, all scorched, in front of Shigure's house, where he was swatting butterflies again.

"MORON!"

**---**

**Author's note: That was...odd...and yesh. S-U-P-E-R R-E-tarted D-O-G! That. Frickin. Rocks.**


	5. Tohru's Adventure! Character Death

**Note: Oneshot numbah whatever! New summary! YEAH! I'MSPECIAL! This chapter is why I'm rating it T. It's all pervy.**

**---**

Tohru was dancing because she liked the way she "shook" whne she danced, even though she is all...flat-chested. Then Yuki came in wearing tights like Superman, becuase he likes the way...nevermind! Anyway, Kyo and Hatori followed in, Hatori dressed as Spiderman and Kyo was Batman because I love Kyo and Batman rocks and it rhymes with "Catman". So they watched Tohru dancing and then they told her she was flat-chasted and Tohru cried. It wa hilarous. Anyway, they jumped out the window and Tohru went upstairs to her room where she was...nevermind! Then Shigure came in and was all pervy to her, but since Yuki, Kyo, and Hatori were off saving some random people, no one stopped him. Then Kitty got mad and went black and killed Tohru and then Tohru was dead. Then Kitty and Shigure ran off and read his hentai as Sora and Rain watched with giant sweatdrops on their head. Then Kitty nosebleeded and then she said that the hentai was hot and Shigure shut the door. Naughty Shigure! Anyway, Sora made dinner and Rain went off to do something and then the "Superheros" came back and were saying stuff like damn and hell and some other swears and they ate dinner then Sora glomped Yuki and Kyo and Hatori because she loves them all and Tohru is a dead sleazeball and then they all went to sleep except for Kitty and Shigure, who were up all night because they were...nevermind!

Teh End!

**---**

**Note: Hahaha, it's one big paragraph! It's special. Yeah.**


	6. A Retarded Random Oneshot Type Thing!

**Autohr's note: I am not thinking. I don't think my head is on right now. Well, you clicked, so you read! Or I'll eat your effing face off! Umm, just read the story.**

**Disclaimer: I forget to put one of these on stories a lot, but, here ya go!(Sticks Disclaimer on the story)**

**---**

"Yo. ¡Mi nombre es Shigure Sohma y soy 27 años y escribo los libros pervertidos y soy el perro!" Shigure randomly said. Everyone staired at him.

"Shigure?" Kitty asked, because Tohru was dead and everyone else was still stairing. "What the hell did you just say?"

"¿Qué dijiste? Estoy hablando solamente español de ahora en adelante." Shigure said. Kyo rolled his eyes.

"Congrats, Shigure, you're an idiot in two languages." he said, walking out of the room, but running into the wall on his way out like the authoress's cat named Patches but she calls the cat Shiiame. Then he fell down to Akito's rooms and was never seen again for like a bajillion years. Actually, it was just about three seconds, but whatever. Anyway, Yuki stood up with important news.

"I have important news!" Yuki said. "I am an official unoffiacal System of a Down fan!" Then he sang in an odd voice, "Don't think you trust in my self righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die."

Kitty then decided to climb the wall singing "Spider-man, Spider-man, something I can't remember, Spider-man!" Sora decided to climb the wall, too, so she focased her chakra and walked up the wall. Yes, she's cool enough to use abilities used in Naruto in a Fruits Basket fic. Anyway, Sora wasn't very good at it so she fall back down to the ground but she kept trying. Then Shigure broke out his Ipod.

"Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad. So be wise, and keep on, reading the signs of my body!" he sang. Everyone staired for a moment, then turned away. They threw the Ipod in a bag and began to sing another song The authoress and herfriendsknow quite well...

"My name is Cloud, I have a sword! I fight cacturs, because I'm boerd! I like to ride on Chocobos, it's better than having afros! And when I go into an inn, fifteen seconds, it's day again, and I will use, a phenoix down, so when I die, I will not frown! Because I am Cloud, my hair defies all gravaty! And I can't have too many potions or I might get cavaties! If I can't slice you, then that's okay! I'll use my magic anyway! And I will defeat that Sephiroth because he's not David Lee Roth!" They all passed out from lack of air and then Tohru died again because I like making Tohru die because I'm evil like that.

Teh end.

**---**

**A/N: YAY! I love the Cloud song! Yessssss...**

**And the "Congrats, You're an idiot in two languages." came from Ice Age 2. Yeah.**


	7. Real Quotes said by my friends and me!

**Autohr's note: YAY! I feel so happy! One of my favorites that hasn't been updated in three months was UPDATED! And one of my stories was MENTIONED IN ANOTHER AND REACHED 100 REVIEWS! YAY! **

**And this is based entiarally off real quotes andstuff****from me and my friends did. YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything in this!**

* * *

Kyo was boerd and wondered what the whole point of paper clips were. No one uses them, do they?

"EWW!" Tohru yelled, running in circles. "He licked my forehead! With his tounge!" She pointed at Haru, who was sitting on the ground next to Kagura.

"You think my knee is sexy." Kagura said.

"Yes, sexy knee." Haru said, rubbing Kagura's knee. Then Kisa came in as someone announced that they should act "mature". "Yeah, Kisa's not mature." Haru said.

"I like bunnies!" Kisa announced. Everyone fell over. Uo decided then to come in.

"Hey, look! It's Mitchel-sensei!" then she lefty as everyone wonder what was going on. Then Hana came in.

"NOSEBLEED!" Hana yelled, falling over. Then Yuki came in, and turned around really fast, and made a broom fall on him. Then he started to burn an ant on the ground with a magnifying glass.

"Why don't you look at the sun through that." Tohru told Yuki.

"Okay!" He said stupidly. "OOO, the sun's big--AH! MY EYE!" Tohru, Kagura, and Kisa cracked up.

"Spiderman, spiderman, something I can't remember, Spiderman!" Hana sang.

"Whatever you're on, hand it over." Kisa told Hana.

"No! I'm on Hiei." Then she hugged a Hiei plushie.

"Eww, that sound perverted." Kisa said. Then Kureno came in, selling pretzels. After all, everyone likes money and to get it you need a job, right?

"Hey, kid, gimme your money." he said to Kyo.

"NO! Why should I?" Kyo snapped.

"You know you want a pretzel." Kureno pressed on about the pretzel.

"No I don't!" Kyo yelled.

"Your girlfriends want you to get a pretzel." Kureno pointed at Tohru, Kagura, and Kisa.

"No they don't, you jerk, go away!" Kyo yelled and walked away. Then Yuki tried to do an impersination of someone doing archery while sitting in a chair, but fell on the ground.

"SWAMPY!" he yelled. Tohru looked at Kisa.

"Am I on crack? I think I am." she said. Then Shigure came in.

"Is there such thing as a Japanese hippie?" Shigure said. Yuki and Kisa looked at each other.

"Heru." they said. Thes Shigure decided to randomly hand out pencils.

"Okay." Kagura said. "I only have one question. How the hell do you make pencils out of denim?"

* * *

**A/N: Hahaha, that was so random and fun. Anyway, each of the characters were different people. Kisa was me,****Tohru was Kari, ****Kyo was Preston, ****Yuki was Jeremy, Haru was Cameron, Hana was Kit-chan, Kagura was Nicole, Uo was Rain, ****Kureno was that guy selling pretzels at Scarbrough fair, and Shigure was my science teacher.**

**Just so you know, I chose the characters for different people at random.**


End file.
